


let my body do the moving

by trite



Series: action and reaction [1]
Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alpha/Alpha, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotionally Repressed, Knotting, M/M, Non-Traditional Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Oral Knotting, Sexual Repression, Somebody Lives/Not Everyone Dies, Unreliable Narrator
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-07
Updated: 2020-08-07
Packaged: 2021-03-06 02:41:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,104
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25766149
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/trite/pseuds/trite
Summary: “I don’t date Alphas,” Hux says out loud and then repeats it in his head.
Relationships: Poe Dameron/Armitage Hux
Series: action and reaction [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1975420
Comments: 12
Kudos: 84





	let my body do the moving

**Author's Note:**

> I played fast and loose with A/B/O worldbuilding. When something didn’t work for me, I ignored it or made up a different thing. So if something seems weird to you, that’s probably why.

It’s not easy getting used to living amongst rebels. They’re not what he expected, what propaganda had everyone believe. He’s been here for nine months and after the first three, the vitriol directed at him all but disappeared. Even in those first three months no one tried to kill him. His life was more at risk in the Order with Snoke, Ren and any upstart who thought they could do a better job than Hux did. They’re not friendly to him, but Hux is used to being disliked. They mostly ignore him or glare at him, which Hux finds refreshingly honest.

But it’s not just that. The food is different, the climate is different, the clothing is different, the hours they keep are different, their – values are different from anything that Hux is used to. Everywhere he looks there are different species laughing and talking in languages Hux doesn’t understand. Aliens and humans being openly affectionate with one another, being tactile with each other. Nothing vulgar as far as Hux has witnessed, but behaviour still best reserved for the privacy of one’s own quarters. If at all.

There’s the constant hugging and kissing, open and affectionate and passionate and celebratory and it makes Hux cringe to witness – embarrassed for these people who seemingly don’t know better and are happy with said ignorance. There’s also the more _unconventional_ couplings. Not just humans and aliens – Alphas with other Alphas, Omegas with Omegas and every other possible combination. It’s like nothing Hux has ever seen before.

Obviously he knew about this kind of thing. He’s not _sheltered_. The First Order often used these displays of debauchery against the Resistance. To show how morally bankrupt and undisciplined they were to engage in such perversions. Hux personally never believed it. Propaganda, even the one he personally had a hand in, was rarely concerned with the truth. Just what could be conveniently sold as the truth. He figured it was just about shaming the enemy. He realizes now, you can’t shame someone when they don’t think they’re doing anything wrong.

Hux is an Alpha. It feels strange to say he’s proud of being an Alpha because it’s not something he gained through effort and hard work, but his dad was proud of him being an Alpha. (At first. Occasionally. Often enough.) His childhood and his teenage years would’ve been considerably more difficult if he hadn’t been an Alpha. So Hux is glad, _relieved_ to be an Alpha.

He has no problem with Omegas – doesn’t think they’re only good for breeding like his father did, had no problem promoting anyone based on merit instead of their designation. Whatever problems he had with Ren had nothing to do with him being an Omega, unless you bought into the whole “Omegas are overly emotional, volatile and generally unsuited to hold positions of authority” mindset, which admittedly Hux found himself contemplating on occasion after another one of Ren’s tantrums.

When it comes to sexual encounters he prefers to stick to betas, though. He attributes his mediocre, mostly unsatisfactory sex life to this. With Omegas, your body’s chemistry supposedly gets altered, allowing you to fit better together, be more compatible. Your bodies synch up in ways that to Hux sound frankly terrifying. He has no interest in ever fathering children, or bonding with anyone, or claiming anyone, or committing his life to anything after what happened with the First Order. So if given the choice between unsatisfactory sex with betas and mind blowing sex with Omegas, he prefers to go without.

Dameron is your typical overcompensating Alpha; cocky and loud and daring. He is unlike any Alpha that Hux worked with or grew up around, but it was understood in the Order that being an Alpha meant commanding respect from others, exerting authority and leading an exemplary lifestyle, or at least giving the impression of doing so. Dameron, on the other hand, is like an Alpha straight out of those embarrassing romance holodramas. It’s like he hasn’t met a cliché he hasn’t rushed to meet.

His constant mocking of Hux ( _Hugs_ ) is bad enough on its own, but his fake chivalry is worse. Everyone knows the best way to humiliate an Alpha is to treat them as you would an Omega. Dameron, with his supposedly good-natured teasing and constant remarks about Hux’s appearance (not to mention all the opening of doors and pulling out of chairs he does for Hux, as if Hux didn’t have two perfectly working legs and arms), knows exactly what he’s doing.

Hux is no stranger to this kind of treatment. His own father used to call him weak and delicate. _Soft._ Dameron obviously thinks himself creative with his torment. He must find Hux lacking as an Alpha just because he doesn’t have a small horde of desperate Omegas trailing him everywhere, waiting to be fucked into incoherence, like Dameron does. It’s crass and vulgar; the way Dameron displays his bedroom activities for everyone to see. Almost a brag.

“Hey Hugs,” Dameron says leaning his hip against Hux’s workstation. His trousers seem at least one size too small. Hux ignores him, focused on his work. They have him work on kids’ stuff, things he could do in his sleep. They check and double check his work, but the worst indignity is that he is not allowed to have a workspace with a door. It’s still better than death or life imprisonment, though.

“How’s it going?” he says and goes to touch Hux’s shoulder. Hux sidesteps him and Dameron places his hand on the back of Hux’s chair. He’s still too kriffing close.

“Dameron, is being here truly the best use of your time? If you’re looking for things to do, I’m sure one of your obsequious Omegas would be happy to keep you company.”

“What?” Dameron says, frowning. “Who are you even talking about?” Hux rolls his eyes, not amused by Dameron’s pretend obtuseness. “Are you talking about my friends? Because I know it might be hard for you to recognize friendship but that’s what it is, bud. Wait, were you jealous?”

“I know you lack the capacity to comprehend this, but a harem is not what every Alpha aspires to have.”

“I meant,” he says, putting his elbows on the table and leaning forward. “Were you jealous of _them_?”

The climate in this planet is unforgiving. The air can go from cold enough to make his face burn to suffocatingly hot in the space of a heartbeat. It does that even here in the relative safety of his workshop. He feels hot and cold pin-pricks all over his face. “You uncultured, _conceited_ –”

“Hey relax,” he says, moving away. “You have nothing to worry about, Hugs. I only have eyes for you.”

Hux refuses to give Dameron the satisfaction of reacting in any way, but it’s a long time before he can focus on his work again.

Dameron leans against the threshold and says, “come on. Get your stuff. Field trip.”

“Where are we going?”

“We found a group of First Order loyalists hiding in Talodok and we need you to come help them see the light.”

“Troopers? Officers?”

“We don’t know yet, buddy. That’s why we’re going there,” says Dameron, drumming his fingers against the wall. “You in?”

“Well, it’s why you keep me around, isn’t it? To peddle Resistance propaganda?” Hux says, but Dameron has already started walking away.

The mission is a humiliating, unmitigated disaster, with a group of officers who served under Hux turning to him for answers he doesn’t have. With no idea of how to even begin interacting with these people, he turns to Dameron’s platitudes. _A new life, a fresh start._ At least he doesn’t promise them a better life, a sense of purpose. In the end they listen to him. They go with the Resistance and abandon their ideals. And isn’t that the Resistance special? Getting people to walk away from their ideological beliefs.

It’s late when Dameron finds him outside. Hux should be sleeping but he finds the air in this planet hot, muggy, suffocating. He rarely gets a good night’s sleep, but he’s used to that.

“What are you doing out here?” Dameron asks, sitting down.

“Plotting the Resistance’s demise.”

“Yeah? I’m a pretty good listener. You wanna use me as a sounding board?”After a long pause, he adds, “you did a good job today. I know it wasn’t easy for you, but you did it and I’m glad you came with us. You should get some sleep, though. You look terrible.”

“I bet it makes you feel powerful,” Hux says.

“What’s that?”

“Getting to order other Alphas around.”

Dameron laughs. “Did it make _you_ feel powerful to order other Alphas around?”

“ _Yes_ ,” Hux says, from behind gritted teeth.

Dameron laughs again and pushes his hair off his face. “I wouldn’t mind you bossing me around a little. Y’know, under the right circumstances.”

“Stop mocking me,” Hux says, feeling his face get warm.

“Hey hey, I’m sorry. I know you guys at the Order didn’t go for that kind of thing.”

“What kind of thing?”

“Well, you guys were big on the whole ‘Alphas belong with Omegas’ way of thinking. Is it true you guys had a mandatory breeding program?” Dameron asks.

He feels uneasy sometimes discussing some of the things the Order, and by extension him, did. Not because he thinks they were wrong, per se, but because it feels like he’s divulging secret family traditions to strangers who have no hope of understanding them, anyway. “Yes, to increase the Order’s numbers. Secure its future.”

“Romantic,” says Dameron. “Does that mean one of these days we’re gonna find half a dozen tiny General Huxes on a planet somewhere?”

“No, I didn’t – participate.”

“Why not?”

“I thought it to be – distasteful. It was just bringing more bastard children into the world.”

Dameron nods and after a moment says, “your dad was kind of the Order’s ideal of what an Alpha should be, right? A big, strong, authoritarian type?”

“You don’t know anything about my father.”

“You’re right, I don’t. That’s why I’m asking.”

“My father, he – he was always so certain.” When talking about his father with other people his certainty is always a virtue, it’s never the borderline-delusional inflexibility that Hux experienced firsthand. He can’t make himself tell it otherwise. “It didn’t matter if what he was doing was right or wrong, he never doubted himself. He knew who he was and he knew what he wanted.”

“Do you really believe that? That he never doubted himself?”

“I believe he was smart enough not to let people see it and I believe he knew better than to let people use his weaknesses against him.”

Dameron turns and looks at him for a long, uncomfortable moment before saying, “I think you’re brave, you know. I think it was brave of you to go against Kylo Ren like that, for you to leave everything you knew behind, for you to help us win the war. I think that was brave.”

Hux frowns. “Why are you telling me this?”

“Because there is more than one way to be strong and more than one way to be an Alpha,” Dameron says, standing up.

Hux watches Dameron. The easy, comfortable way he touches everyone; a pat on the shoulder, a hug, a kiss hello, a kiss goodbye. Hux realizes he was wrong about Dameron. Obviously things are different here, but he doesn’t see Dameron touching anyone inappropriately or ordering anyone to his bed or talking about who he has in his bed. He wonders how many people would be happy to go to Dameron’s bed on his order, how many people would want to, how many would be relieved to have that choice taken away from them. Just doing their duty.

The thing about the Resistance is that they don’t have to try very hard to prove some of Hux’s assumptions correct. They are undisciplined, have terrible work ethic and are prone to pointless celebrations for ‘morale-boosting.’ He suspects they don’t make attendance mandatory for everyone (they don’t have to; seemingly everyone’s looking for an excuse to get drunk and embarrass themselves) but they are mandatory for Hux. They probably want to rub their victories in Hux’s face, but joke’s on them because whatever the Resistance defeated, it was not the First Order Hux had pledged his life to.

Nobody approaches him and he suspects that would be true even if he weren’t glaring at them. Dameron, as always, proves to be the exception to the rule.

“Having fun, Hugs? Didn’t think this was your kind of thing.”

“You know perfectly well that my attendance is mandatory,” Hux says, scowling.

“Well, it’s good for you to relax, meet some people, make friends. This isn’t the First Order; you don’t have to work yourself to death.”

“You think I‘m relaxed?”

“I can help with that. Let me buy you a drink.”

“The drinks are free,” Hux says pointedly, hoping Dameron gets bored and goes back to his friends.

Dameron grins. “Let me get you a free drink, then. Maybe you’ll even end up enjoying yourself tonight,” he says in a low tone that Hux is certain has sent many Omegas to their knees. He’s indecent.

“Are you so insecure that you can’t drop the Alpha posturing for a moment?” Hux has been around bullies all his life so he knows that by giving him a reaction he’s playing right into Dameron’s hands, but he’s tired of the jabs and innuendoes.

“Hey no, I’m sorry. I’m just teasing.” He looks at Hux with big earnest eyes and Hux bets no one can stay mad at Dameron for his fuckups when he looks at them like that. It does not work on Hux.

“Yes, I’m familiar with your particular brand of teasing. It involves showing everyone you have the biggest knot in the room, no other Alpha can compare. Certainly not me, because I lost my stature and my power, so it’s like I’m not even an Alpha anymore, right? And let me guess, what would _really_ help me relax is learning how to take an Alpha knot like an Omega. Is that what you were planning to say?” Hux’s face feels hot by the time he finishes and his hands hurt from clenching them into fists.

Dameron looks genuinely horrified for a moment, before saying, “who told you that?”

Hux rolls his eyes. As if that were not what Dameron had been building up to.

“Really. That’s not okay. If someone has been giving you a hard time–”

“You’ve been giving me a hard time,” Hux says and immediately wishes he could take it back. He sounds sulky, like Ren.

Dameron sighs, runs his hand through his hair and says, “no, I – Right, I know you don’t care but that was genuinely not my intention. I’m sorry. I was just – I was just flirting with you, man.”

“What?”

“It’s a lonely post-war galaxy out there,” Poe says, looking away. “Look, I’m sorry. I’ll stop, okay?”

By the time Hux figures out what to say, Dameron is long gone. Good. That’s exactly what Hux wanted.

After what he deems an appropriate amount of time, Hux decides to retire to his quarters, hoping no one stops him on the way there. It’s dark now and almost everyone is drunk, anyway.

“Hey, leaving so soon?” It’s Dameron, of course. He’s leaning against the railing with a bottle in his hand.

“Shouldn’t you be getting drunk with your friends instead of doing it out here, alone in the dark?” Hux says, approaching him but careful to leave a respectable distance between them.

“Wanna get drunk with me?” he says, shaking the bottle and immediately winces. “Sorry.”

When Hux turns to leave, Dameron says, “I know you think these celebrations are a stupid and pointless overindulgence, but for the longest time all we had were losses. Not just defeats – we lost a lot of people. Not our ‘subordinates’ but our friends. People we had known and worked alongside for years. People who saved our lives. And tomorrow we’ll go back to having no idea how to fix any of this. There’s no point in winning a war if we’re just gonna repeat the same mistakes. So it’s good to have some time away from constant self-doubt.” Dameron takes a drink and looks away when he’s done talking.

His unexpected honesty makes Hux uncomfortable, but he figures he can be honest too. “I’m glad you guys won.”

“Really?” Dameron asks incredulously, inching forward into Hux’s space.

“I’m glad the Final Order lost and I’m glad Ren’s gone, but the truth is,” and here he voices something he’s been afraid to put into words, “even without Palpatine, I’m not sure the Order would’ve delivered on most of the things we said were our goals.”

Dameron frowns. “Do you regret any of it?” he asks, close enough now that their arms brush together.

“Don’t ask questions that you don’t want the answers to.”

“Try me. It’s not like I expect you to say something _not_ awful.”

“I’m not ashamed of what I’ve done. At the time, I thought I was doing the right thing, what had to be done in order to advance the Order’s goals. I now realise that what I thought I was doing for the Order, was not really what I was doing. For what it’s worth, knowing what I know now, I wouldn’t do it again. Does that make you feel better about flirting with a mass murderer?” Hux says, for some reason wanting to make Dameron acknowledge what he said earlier.

“What about now? If you could go anywhere, do anything–”

“Would I seek revenge? Try to recreate my old life by starting a new Order? No, it seems fairly pointless now and I’m not my father.” He pauses and lets that thought settle in. _I’m not my father._ “I’m not sure what I would do or where I would go, though. Is that good enough?”

“Good enough for what?”

“I don’t know, Dameron. For whatever it is that you want,” Hux says, frustrated.

“What I want –” he says quietly, staring at Hux’s lips. He leans in slowly, giving Hux plenty of time to move away, until his breath is brushing Hux’s face.

“Poe?” says the Jedi girl, Rey.

They jump apart in a way that is more revelatory than anything she could’ve seen and Dameron makes things worse by loudly saying, “Rey! Hey! We were just talking.”

Rey frowns at him and tilts her head curiously, but lets it go. “Finn’s going to sing. Thought you wouldn’t want to miss it.”

“Oh man, I have _got_ to see that. You coming?” he asks Hux.

“No. Goodnight,” he says without turning around. Only once their voices have faded completely, he makes himself walk to his quarters.

 _They do things differently here in the Resistance,_ he has to remind himself.

“Thought I’d find you here,” Dameron says when he’s collecting his things.

It’s late, everyone else has already left but Hux lost track of time. He keeps getting distracted by random, inconsequential things lately. “Don’t worry, I’m not staying after hours to work on a secret Starkiller prototype.”

“Glad to hear that. It wouldn’t be a very covert way to go about it anyway. Listen, I wanted to talk about last night.”

Hux really has not interest in hearing this and he hopes that if he pretends he has no idea what Dameron means, he’ll go away. “It was a dreadful party. I hope it doesn’t become a common occurrence.”

“Right. I wanted to apologize if I crossed any boundaries last night. I remember our conversation from earlier and by the end of the evening I was a little drunk, so I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable. And whenever I act like a jerk, feel free to tell me to stop.” There’s something appealing, in a way, about Dameron’s (real or fake, Hux can’t tell) earnestness. He must know it and that’s why he draws on it so often.

“I would spend all my time doing that.”

“Fair enough,” he says, smiling at Hux. Hux, for once, doesn’t want him to leave.

“Did you think of me that way when I was in the First Order? When I was _General_ Hux?” He hadn’t considered the possibility of other Alphas besides Dameron regarding him like that, but the idea is horrifying.

“Well, you did spend all your time trying to kill us back then, so maybe not,” he says, chuckling. Everything’s a joke to Dameron.

“I see.”

Dameron sighs. “Why do I have the feeling you don’t really see and are instead imagining something horrible based on some outdated nonsense the First Order taught you?”

“You’re being a jerk.”

“My attraction to you is not about me seeing you as an Omega, or wanting you to pretend to be an Omega, or wanting to breed you –”

“Dameron!” Hux says, properly scandalized now.

“I know you’re an Alpha. I see you as an Alpha and I like that you’re an Alpha. There’s nothing weird happening here.”

“So you’d be happy to take orders from me?” Hux doesn’t know why he’s pushing the issue, but he wants Dameron to admit he’s lying.

“Well, it depends on the orders, _General_ ,” Dameron says, falling back on his obnoxious flirting routine.

“Thank you for proving my point,” says Hux, but he’s too annoyed to feel vindicated.

“Wait, I’m sorry. I’m a little nervous here. What– what would you have me do?”

If he were still in the Order he would have no problem coming up with something suitably humiliating, but he’s out of practice and, worse still, keeps getting distracted by the way Dameron is biting his lip.

“Take it out,” Hux says, pointing at Dameron’s lap. “Touch yourself.”

He leans back against the table, legs slightly parted and says, “what?”

“Show me,” Hux says, calling Dameron’s bluff.

“I –” he starts, then laughs incredulously before saying, “are you serious?” He looks to his left, indicating the doorless entrance.

“Goodnight, then,” Hux says, turning his back to Dameron to grab his datapad and leave. He knew Dameron was all talk. He is pleased to have that confirmed.

“Wait, hang on.” Hux grips his datapad tightly before turning around and placing it carefully back on the table. “Okay, okay, you’re just gonna watch?” Dameron says, his hands drawing Hux’s eyes to where they rest on his belt. “Hux?”

Hux snaps his eyes back to his face and says disinterestedly, “watch what?” He has the distinct feeling this situation has gotten out of control, that it has gone further than it should have. He can’t think of a good reason why he asked Dameron to do this, it’s not like he wanted to see his knot.

Dameron rubs his hand over his face, half-laughs and unzips. He doesn’t try to be coy about it; he just takes his dick out and fists it once, twice, three times.

He’s only half hard and there’s no knot yet, but he’s big. Hux watches for a long moment before Dameron’s voice makes him look away. He has no reason to feel caught out, he reminds himself. If Dameron didn’t want him to watch, he wouldn’t have gone along with it. This is all Dameron’s fault.

“You know, I feel a little bit like I’m being graded here,” he says chuckling. “And considering it’s you, like I’m gonna be found lacking. It’s a bit of a mood killer, to be honest.”

He’s babbling and it gives Hux the irrational urge to move closer to Dameron and do _something._ Shut him up somehow.

“Can you say something? Just tell me–”

“Shut up.”

“Okay, yeah, that works. What else?” Dameron says, moving his hand faster.

Hux steps forward then, stops in front of him. Dameron looks up at him, licks his lips. He lets his forehead rest on Hux’s shoulder and groans when Hux touches him, pushing Dameron’s hand away and taking over. Dameron leans against him and pants against his neck. He puts an arm around his back and pulls Hux closer into the V of his legs.

“Put your hands on the table,” snaps Hux, stopping his movements. He knows it makes no sense to try to put some distance between them considering what they are doing (what _they_ are doing. He can’t exactly pretend this is something Dameron’s doing while Hux happens to be in the vicinity) but there is such a thing as too much proximity.

“Is this how you touch yourself?” says Dameron, unable to keep quiet, as usual. When Hux refuses to acknowledge him he covers Hux’s hand with his and guides his movements. Tighter but slower. “Like that,” he says, his breath warm against Hux’s skin.

He raises his head and puts his lips under Hux’s jaw. “Is this okay? Can I do this?” he says, kissing with just a hint of teeth.

It shocks Hux enough that it causes him to squeeze Dameron harder than intended.

“Ow, ow,” Dameron says until Hux eases his hand.

Hux refuses to look down but he can feel Dameron’s knot now, hard and solid, waiting to expand.

Obviously this was the expected outcome, so Hux shouldn’t be surprised, but _he is._ If not by Dameron popping a knot, then definitely by his own reckless stupidity. Hux has no idea where he was going with this, what he was thinking. If he was thinking at all.

He steps back and lets go of his dick, but Dameron touches his hip. Stopping him, though not pulling him closer.

“You want me to finish myself off?” Dameron asks, his voice low.

“Yes, take care of it yourself,” Hux says, but his voice sounds shaky to his own ears.

Dameron chuckles and says, “yes, sir.”

Hux stays where he is, unmoving. Feels the way Dameron’s arm moves, hears the sound of skin on skin, the way Dameron groans, the way his breath catches and finally the way he moans low in his throat.

He slumps forward afterwards, letting Hux support what feels like all of his weight. Hux steps back and Dameron flails a little to catch himself. “Hey, do you want–?”

Whatever he’s going to offer the answer is certainly ‘no,’ so Hux just turns around, wanting to put an end to this bad idea.

“Hey, are you okay?”

“Yes, of course. Did you need me to stroke your ego? Tell you how impressed I am by your stamina?” Hux says, packing his things.

“Only if you want. Did you–?”

“Goodnight, Dameron,” he says, in what he hopes is an adequately dismissive tone.

Dameron’s words keep playing on a loop all the way back to his quarters. _What would you have me do what would you have me do what would you have me do._

Hux doesn’t see Dameron the next day, or the one after that, or the one _after_ that. He doesn’t think about it. He assumes Dameron is avoiding him because he’s disgusted by what they did or now that he got Hux to do that, to – demean himself like that for his enjoyment, he has simply lost interest and moved on to another target. He’s happy if it means Dameron’s attention will be elsewhere and he won’t bother Hux anymore.

Of course, things never go Hux’s way and on the fourth day Dameron shows up while he’s working.

“Can I come in?” he asks, instead of just walking in like he (and everyone else) usually does, no regard for Hux’s opinion on the matter.

“Yes.” He figures letting Dameron say what he wants to say is the easiest way to get rid of him. He comes close to Hux’s work station and intently examines the schematics on the table, but at least he doesn’t touch anything. “Yes?” He’s not particularly in the mood for a surprise inspection, especially not from Dameron of all people.

“Right! It’s almost lunchtime. I was thinking we could grab a bite?”

Hux is hungry; his body getting used to regular breaks for food in the past few months. His work ethic is starting to resemble that of the people he surrounds himself with.

“Fine.” He wishes Dameron didn’t feel the need to prolong this. Whatever this is.

“I’ve been off-world for the past few days,” Dameron says as they leave. Hux doesn’t care.

“So you want to –” Hux pauses for long enough that Dameron looks up from his food and looks at Hux, almost a challenge in his eyes, daring Hux to say it. “– fuck.”

“Well, I would also like to take you somewhere nice–”

“How romantic,” Hux says, rolling his eyes.

“–but if you only want to,” and here he pauses, no doubt for dramatic effect, lowers his voice, gives Hux his flirtiest smile and says, “fuck. Well, that’d work for me too.”

“And where is this ‘somewhere nice’ we’d go? You know I can’t leave the planet,” he says, pointing to his ankle.

“Somewhere nice right here.” But at Hux’s scoff, he says, “fine. Dinner and a holofilm. Classic date night.”

“I don’t date Alphas,” Hux says out loud and then repeats it in his head. He also doesn’t date Betas or Omegas, so he doesn’t know why it feels important to point that out.

“I figured as much, but you could make an exception.” Dameron’s drinking some thick, deep red concoction, alternating between drinking it with a straw and drinking it with a spoon. It’s appalling.

“For you?”

“Yes, for me,” he says, giving Hux a radiant, disarming smile.

Hux swallows and looks away. Omegas could go into heat just by looking at Dameron’s smile. “Okay.”

The date is, predictably, a failure and it’s not all Dameron’s fault. Hux is tense and flinches every time Dameron brushes against him or tries to touch him, a hand on his knee, his shoulder, the small of his back. Hux keeps waiting for someone or something to make Dameron’s intentions easier to understand. Maybe he’s trying to make someone jealous, maybe he was dared. That’s about the level of maturity he would expect from Dameron’s pilot friends. By the end of the evening the distance between them is considerable, but at least Dameron is no longer trying to touch him.

“How did you like the holofilm?” Dameron asks when they reach Hux’s quarters. His third attempt at starting a conversation. “I thought it was hilarious, though I’m not sure that was the intention.”

“It was embarrassingly bad.”

“My friends recommended it to me as a good date movie. I’m questioning their taste now.”

“Did they know the date was with me?” Hux asks, hoping the answer is no.

“Yeah,” Poe says warily.

Hux swallows. “Well, that makes sense. They wanted me bored to death.”

Dameron laughs loudly, as if Hux just told him the funniest joke in the galaxy. It’s late and everything is quiet so Dameron’s laughter seems particularly loud. Hux looks to his left and to his right but the corridor is empty. He moves closer and kisses him, just to shut him up. It’s an awkward kiss because Dameron wasn’t expecting it and their lips don’t align right, so after a couple of seconds Hux steps back, intending to shut the door on Dameron’s face.

Dameron stops him. He grabs Hux’s hand, turns it in the space between them and presses his nail against his pulse. He slowly lifts Hux’s wrist toward his mouth and softly bites the same place. It rattles Hux enough that when Dameron pulls him down, he just goes with it. Goes along with Dameron pressing his thumb against his lips, pulling their faces close enough that their breaths mingle together, coming closer and pulling away but never making contact. He gets tired of Dameron’s teasing and presses their lips together, pushing him against the wall.

Dameron is a really good kisser – thorough, passionate, kisses with his whole body. Sucking on Hux’s tongue lewdly, one hand tangled in Hux’s hair and the other grabbing his ass. It’s a little too indecent to be doing it in a hallway and Hux steps away intending to put an end to whatever derangement had possessed him.

Dameron is breathing hard, his head resting against the wall, baring his neck. _I’m so glad he’s an Alpha_ , Hux thinks. In that moment he wants to bite him, mark him, claim him. Never mind that it’s not physically possible for him to do so.

The thought reassures him, though. No matter what they do – it’s not permanent. They can’t bond, they can’t breed. No one would know. Probably. Even if they did, they wouldn’t say anything that could, by Resistance standards, be construed as offensive. _But they’d think it._ Good thing he does not care what they think, he reminds himself firmly.

“Are you coming?” Hux says, walking into his room.

Hux plants his hands against the wall by Dameron’s head, boxing him in, and buries his face along his neck, trying not to pant too loudly. Dameron’s hands go to his hips and he pulls them closer together.

They can’t get enough friction like this, but when Dameron moves his hands to the front of Hux’s trousers, he stops him. He grabs Dameron’s wrists, probably harder than necessary, and pushes them against the wall. “No,” Hux says.

Dameron relaxes, goes pliant against him. “Okay, okay.”

Hux crowds him further into the door, slides his thigh between Dameron’s legs and unzips him. He wraps his hand around Dameron’s cock and touches him just like last time.

“You too, come on. Let me,” says Dameron, reaching for him again. His fingers feel amazing against Hux as he slowly lowers the zipper, but that’s as far as Hux lets him get. He bats Dameron’s hand away and takes himself out, grabbing them both with one hand and thrusting against Dameron’s dick.

He looks down and moans at the way his cock bumps against Dameron’s knot.

Poe keeps saying encouraging things like: “Hux, that’s so good” and “yeah, just like that.” He figures it’s what gives him this intense need to make Dameron come. To feel his dick twitch in his palm, to feel his come covering his hand. He has never thought anything like that before.

He lets go of his own dick and focuses on Dameron. He touches his knot now and it’s fine, yes. Not that different from touching his own knot.

Dameron grabs his neck and pulls his head down, pants against his mouth while he comes. “Gimme a second to catch my breath and then I’ll do you,” he says.

“No, you should go.”

“Man, are you serious? You’re just gonna jerk off thinking about me once I leave.” When Hux starts to pull away, he adds, “no no – I didn’t mean it in a bad way. I think it’s hot, I’d just like to be it the room when it happens. I’ll keep my hands to myself, okay? Just let me watch.”

Even if he wasn’t desperate to come, he’s not sure he could resist Dameron looking at him like that, which is a thought he’ll have to examine some other time. Now he just uses his right hand, still covered in Dameron’s come, to grip his cock, and faintly hears him say, “oh man, Hux, that’s just–”

He pants too loudly afterwards, while Dameron soothingly rubs his back. He feels too uncoordinated to shake him off and so they stay leaning against each other like that for a long time.

“Do you want to do this again sometime?” Poe asks, carding his fingers through his hair. Hux should put a stop to that but he’s shaking too much to do anything other than nod.

When he feels more composed he steps away and avoids Dameron’s gaze as he opens the door to escort him out. “Goodnight, then,” Hux says, willing Dameron to leave already.

“Goodnight,” Poe says, touching the back of his neck and leaning their foreheads together. He breathes against Hux’s mouth before tenderly, almost chastely, kissing him.

His quarters stink of Alpha now. Not his own scent, but Dameron’s. It permeates everything in the room. He’s disinclined to tell Dameron to get scent blockers but he’s paranoid he now smells the same, smells like another Alpha, smells claimed. He spends all the time in his quarters in a low-level state of arousal, wanting Dameron there, wanting to feel him solid and real beneath his hands.

They’ve been doing – whatever it is they’re doing, for a few weeks now, though Hux finds that most of the time he can only deal with one knot at a time. This means he can either take care of Dameron or take care of himself.

Dameron is unselfconscious about the way he receives or demands pleasure, going along with Hux’s occasionally arbitrary rules without hesitation. He doesn’t mind begging for Hux’s touch with his body as well as his words, or talking about his preferences in extreme and graphic detail, or lying down in Hux’s bed spreading his legs and arching his back. Like he doesn’t care that they shouldn’t be doing this with each other. Maybe that’s part of the appeal, Hux reasons. It’d certainly explain why he’s doing this with Hux instead of the dozens of other Alphas on the base.

“You know, it’s a little unfair.”

“What?” Hux says, lifting his head from where he’s focusing on unfastening Dameron’s trousers. He shouldn’t enjoy undressing him so much.

Dameron laughs good-naturedly. “Let me touch your dick, man.”

He thinks about it. It’s not a big deal. It’s certainly not worse than what they’ve already been doing, so he doesn’t understand his own reservations. A part of him feels uneasy thinking about the way Dameron might touch him, about the liberties he might take. It was almost too easy to get used to the sight and feel of another knot and he wonders what that says about him.

“Hey, we’ll abide by your one knot rule, only this time I get to touch you,” he says reasonably. It’s the same tone of voice he uses when he tells Hux that “if he wanted to be sleeping with an Omega then he wouldn’t have gotten involved with an Alpha.” Pretending he’s unfamiliar with the multitude of methods people use to hurt each other. He probably means the lie to be reassuring.

“Alright.”

Dameron tries to push him down on the bed, but he doesn’t want Dameron to get on top of him so he stays put. Dameron just shrugs and kneels down on the floor in front of Hux’s open legs. The visual alone makes Hux’s brain stop for a moment.

He acts relaxed, like he does this everyday – and maybe he does. Hux doesn’t know who else Dameron shares his time with and he doesn’t care either. He unzips Hux, nudges him so he lifts his hips and pushes his trousers and underwear down.

He puts both hands on Hux’s knees, slowly slides them up his thighs and deliberately catches his gaze before finally touching him. Hux groans and grips the mattress tighter when Poe leans forward and rubs the side of his face against Hux’s dick, his lips almost brushing the underside.

Hux is confident he has never met anyone quite like Dameron before.

He keeps talking to Hux throughout. Things like, “relax, relax” and “like this?” and most memorably, “I love your dick. I’d let you put it anywhere.” Dameron’s words make him moan, scandalized. He knows Dameron’s just talking and means nothing by it but Hux’s dick still twitches violently in his hand. He pictures all the things Dameron could’ve meant by it and has to squeeze his eyes shut. He grits his teeth and says, “Dameron, I –”

“It’s okay. I got you. I got you,” he says soothingly, which annoys Hux but doesn’t stop him from coming all over Dameron’s hand and even his cheek, a little. Hux can’t look away.

“Sorry,” he says, vaguely pointing at Dameron’s face, but he just laughs like it is perfectly normal and not at all shameful.

“It’s fine, man. Don’t worry about it,” he says and proceeds to wipe it off with a finger and then put it in his mouth. It’s completely depraved.

“Come here,” he says, pulling on Poe until he’s straddling Hux. He lets Dameron kiss him and rock against him while he gets his hand inside his underwear, touching him in a way that already feels familiar to Hux.

They’re in the mess hall having a late dinner. Poe came back from a supply run and was horrified to learn that Hux had been working nonstop and had not eaten. It’s just them at the table, though there are others a few tables away; by the door he can see FN– Finn and the Jedi girl laughing and sharing some kind of pastry – a crumblebun, if Hux were to guess.

“I think I’d like to blow you,” Poe says casually, while wiping his hands on a napkin.

Terror seizes Hux’s body and he looks around to make sure no one heard him. “What is wrong with you? Don’t say that,” Hux hisses. It’s moments like this when he’s keenly aware of what a horrible mistake he’s making with Dameron.

Poe laughs, as if nothing were wrong. “You’re acting like I said I wanted to blow you right here, right now, in front of everyone. Calm down. I didn’t even mean tonight.” He goes to condescendingly pat Hux’s hand but Hux pulls away. His face itches, he’s sweating and he feels distinctly uncomfortable.

“You can’t do that,” he says, willing Poe to understand.

“What? I can’t talk about it? It’s a free galaxy. Considering the part you played in ensuring that, I’m sure you know,” he says good-naturedly, still not getting it.

“No, I mean you can’t do that. Physically,” he says, desperate to get away from this conversation but determined to make Dameron understand.

“What are you talking about? I can’t do that? I’ve done it before.”

“I don’t want to hear that,” Hux says, feeling anger at Dameron for having said it and at himself for even caring.

“Oh, you mean because of the knot? You can choke me on it,” he says, quietly, in his most seductive voice.

Hux feels himself flush, scandalized; goes hot and cold all over. “That’s revolting. _Don’t say that,_ ” he snaps, but his own voice sounds embarrassingly breathy. He feels as if everyone must know what they’re talking about.

“Why not? I thought that’d be the kind of thing you’d be into.” All playfulness is gone from Poe’s voice now.

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“Y’know, all about how I’ll let you choke me on your knot and let you bend me over and knot me like a good little Omega. That kind of thing. That way you don’t have to feel bad about yourself afterward,” he says, like a challenge.

Hux clenches his fists. He wants to punch Dameron in his smug, beautiful face over and over again. Of course, he won’t do such a thing. Instead he says, coldly, “for the record, I’m not interested in doing any of those things. Let alone with you.” He stands up and doesn’t turn around when Dameron says, “hey, Hux, wait.” It’s always a brand new humiliation with Dameron.

Dameron stops by the workshop the next day. He stands by the entrance for a while, but Hux doesn’t invite him in. Eventually he lets himself in and says, “when it comes to apologies they say you should say it with flowers or sex, but I don’t think you’d be very receptive to either, so here.” He puts a can of caf on the table and continues, “I brought it on yesterday’s supply run. It’s meant to be stronger than the stuff around the base.”

Hux can’t exactly ignore him forever. “I don’t ask you to debase yourself for me. I would never ask you that,” he says carefully. He practiced what he wanted to say and thought it best to be concise.

“Man, you’re not getting it. I’m not ‘debasing myself for you,’” he says, clearly frustrated. “When we’re together I’m doing things that we both enjoy and I’m doing it for both of our enjoyments. I’m sorry I was a dick, but I promise from now on if there’s something you’re not into, just say the word and I’ll drop it, okay?”

Hux thinks about it for a moment. “Would you really do that, though? What you said – yesterday,” he tries to say in his most neutral tone.

“Yes, I think it’d be really hot and I think you’d really enjoy it.”

Hux lets himself think about it, _really_ think about it. Poe on his knees, in front of him, moaning around his cock, the tip of Hux’s dick brushing the back of his throat, struggling to breathe around his knot. Poe _willingly_ putting himself in that position because he thinks it would be hot.

“Okay. We can – work up to it,” he says, refusing to meet Poe’s gaze.

“I hope you don’t expect me to do that,” Hux says, still catching his breath.

Poe sighs and Hux can feel the warm air on his thigh. “Hux, babe, why are you so determined to always ruin the afterglow?” Poe says, standing up.

“I just thought it important for you to understand there will be no reciprocation, because I will not be doing that for you,” Hux says, hoping Dameron’s not going to push the issue.

“Oh, I see. You thought it important to say that _after_ you got blown. Got it.” Poe’s starting to look angry now and fuck, he’s right. Hux doesn’t get to claim the moral high ground when he had no qualms about shoving his knot in Dameron’s face. Poe’s still hard, but he’s putting his clothes back on, getting ready to leave.

“Wait no, I’m sorry. You’re right,” he says, the words tasting foreign in his mouth. He tries to convey honesty and earnestness. Which shouldn’t be too hard considering he’s being both honest and earnest, but he’s been told his genuine attempts at honesty come across as fake and manipulative. “Come here,” he says, trying not to throw up.

Poe relaxes and comes closer, touches his neck. He’s smiling sadly at Hux, which means he doesn’t actually want to fight. Hux just keeps fucking up.

He lets himself fall to his knees, hard. It jars his bones, makes his teeth rattle. The pain feels good.

“Hey no, come on,” Poe says, grabbing Hux’s wrists where they’re working on his zipper.

Hux leans back and says, “you’re right. It’s only fair.” But Poe just steps back and sits down on the bed, leaving Hux kneeling in the middle of the room.

“Man, that’s not what I said,” he says, letting himself fall back on the bed. “Or at least, that’s not what I meant.” He rubs his hands over his face and looks at the ceiling. “When you’re with me, I want you to enjoy yourself. I don’t want you to do something you don’t want to do. I did it because I wanted to, no other reason.” He turns to look at Hux. “The problem is not that you won’t reciprocate. The problem is that you act like what we do is gross mere seconds after having your knot in my mouth.”

He sighs when Hux doesn’t say anything. “You know what the worst part of this is? That I don’t know if you keep doing this because you’re genuinely into me or because you get a kick out of an Alpha, what was it you said? _Debasing_ themselves for you.”

“It’s not that,” Hux says insistently.

“I think,” he says gently. “You need to figure out some things for yourself. Outside of us.”

Hux doesn’t look up until he hears the door slide shut.

It nags at him. Poe can say whatever he wants about Hux not being obligated, not owing him anything and not having to, but Hux knows that it’s unfair and it nags at him. It honestly makes him angry at Poe for putting him in a position where he spends most of his time thinking about choking on a knot.

By now, he doesn’t care if it’s awful; he wants to do it just to make a point. To prove to Poe that he doesn’t have _issues_ to figure out. He’s perfectly fine.

The whole situation leaves him tense, distracted and paranoid. By the fifth day he decides he has spent too much of his time thinking about when, where and how he’s going to do it and just marches to Poe’s office to get it over with.

Poe’s not hard when he gets him out of his pants, but that’s okay, he’s never had trouble getting him there before. He fists his cock once, twice, licks around the head and he begins hardening swiftly.

“Choke me and I’ll bite it off,” Hux says. Poe swallows and nods.

He gets his mouth on Poe, his eyes fluttering shut. No matter what, Dameron feels good and tastes good to him. It’s only one of the reasons he keeps coming back.

He moves his head up and down, taking his time. He figures this is the easy part. He can’t get all of Poe inside his mouth and he doesn’t bother trying. He keeps bobbing his head, moves his hands to Poe’s hips, but he doesn’t have to; Poe’s sitting unnaturally still, clutching the armrests. Maybe he’s taken Hux’s warning to heart or maybe he’s a really considerate lover. He moves back, licks from tip to base and touches Poe’s knot with his lips. He leans forward, takes more of Poe’s dick in his mouth and reminds himself to keep breathing. It’s fine. He wanted this.

He can tell Poe is close by the weight of his knot, the way his breathing speeds up, but when he feels Poe start to swell in his mouth, he panics. He can hear Poe urgently saying above him “you can still pull off,” but he refuses to give up and instead blindly reaches for Poe, squeezing his knee.

Poe rests his hand on top of Hux’s and starts coming down his throat, groaning. He can feel his mouth stretching lewdly against Poe’s knot and it makes him want to hide his face. He knows he locked the door but he doesn’t know who else has a keycard. Anyone could walk in and see him like this and he wouldn’t be able to move or do anything about it. He feels completely helpless. This was a bad idea. He starts to imagine what people back at the Order would think if they could see him now, what his father would say. He wouldn’t even be surprised, he’d tell him he had always known Hux would end up on his knees for another Alpha.

“Hux. Hux, breathe. You’re hyperventilating.” Poe reaches out and caresses his face, touching where they are joined. “Small breaths, small breaths. It’s almost over. There you go. Keep going.”

When Poe’s knot finally deflates, Hux coughs and gasps desperately for air. He must look a complete mess; his face is probably red, his lips are swollen and his hair’s mussed.

Poe sits down on the floor next to him, rubs his back and makes him drink some water. His jaw aches, his knees hurt, he feels shaky all over. He never wants to do that again.

“We should do that again,” he says.

Poe laughs. “What? Like, right now? Sorry to disappoint you, man, but I don’t think I can.”

“No, I mean, some other time. We could try it again.” Hux wants to show Poe that he’s committed to them having a satisfying sex life.

“Yeah? You liked it?”

“Don’t you like it?”

“I think I pretty obviously enjoyed that,” Poe says, leaning in for a kiss.

Hux turns his face away. “No, I mean – in the past, with other people. Or usually. Do you like it?”

Poe carefully looks at him for a moment. “Do you mean, do I require my sexual partners to perform sexual acts they are uncomfortable with in order to keep me happy? No, I don’t.”

“Then I don’t want to do it again.” Hux almost wants Dameron to argue with him about it.

“Okay, that’s fine. You know you didn’t have to do it in the first place, right? I don’t expect –”

“Dameron, I don’t want to talk about it. Let’s just not do that again.”

“Okay, okay,” Poe says, placing a careful kiss under his jaw.

He doesn’t even remember what point he was trying to make anymore, but he still knows he failed.

Despite Hux’s expectations, they’ve been doing this for six months. He’s been keeping track but when Dameron mentions it, he pretends he had no idea.

“We should do something to celebrate,” Poe says.

“Something like what?” Hux asks, dreading the answer. He’s acutely aware of all the things he can’t or won’t do or doesn’t let Poe do. By now he thought Poe would’ve gotten bored or at least tired of being denied. He’s not getting anything from Hux that he couldn’t get more easily somewhere else. He figures it’s convenient. He doesn’t place any demands on Poe and he’s not going anywhere. Literally can’t.

“I thought maybe I could take you for a ride.” At Hux’s raised eyebrow, he laughs. “Not like that. _Although_ …” he says, smirking.

Hux clenches his jaw to keep himself from smiling, but he suspects Poe can see right through it.

“And later we could have a romantic meal outdoors,” Poe finishes, obnoxiously drumming his fingers on the table.

“Okay, but I’m not eating anything that has been personally prepared by you.”

“Here I am, planning these grand romantic gestures for you and you bring that up.”

“I’m trying to keep your romantic gestures from being ruined by food poisoning.”

“We don’t know what the cause was,” Poe says, smiling. He leans forward, clearly intent on kissing Hux, but even though there’s no one around they are still out in the open, so Hux leans back and turns his head away. Poe settles for squeezing his knee.

“Did you like it?” Poe says, grinning up at him while helping Hux down from his X-Wing.

“You fly like a madman, which I already knew. However, while it looks impressive, it feels terrifying.”

“You liked feeling it,” Poe says against his mouth, before playfully biting his lower lip.

Hux rolls his eyes and pushes him away, but can’t manage to scowl the way he usually does, his lips curling up into a smile instead. “There is also no room for two grown adults in there, especially not one my height.”

“It was cozy!” Poe protests, walking towards the clearing.

They eat what feels like their entire weight in pastries – the only thing Poe packed, and afterwards he says, “You look good like this.”

“Like what?” Hux asks, not sure he wants to hear the answer.

“All flushed and relaxed,” Poe says, staring at him intently. Hux has the terrible suspicion it makes him blush harder, so he turns his face away. Poe moves closer and straddles him. “I liked you clinging to me in the X-Wing. It kinda made me want to–”

“There’s no room to move there. I’m not sure what you think we could’ve done.” He places his hands on Poe’s hips and leans towards his mouth.

“We could have gotten creative,” Poe says, pushing him down onto the ground and following him with his mouth.

He gets caught up in the feel of Poe’s mouth, the way he unbuttons Hux’s shirt and trails his lips down his neck, how his hands move over his chest and land on the button of his trousers.

“How attached are you to your X-Wing?” Hux asks afterwards. They’re both still catching their breaths.

Poe lifts his head from where he’s resting it on Hux’s shoulder. “Why?” he asks, suspiciously.

“I was thinking I could design a modified jet fighter, based on your X-Wing’s specs with capacity to carry a passenger.”

“Really? You would do that?” Poe asks, grinning.

“If you wanted. For practical purposes. In case you ever–”

“Are you kidding? I’d take you flying all the time. You know what this means, right? We’re gonna get creative.”

Hux smiles, glad he can cover it up in the darkness. He’s not entirely opposed to the idea.

“Hey, look at that,” Poe says, pointing at the trees which look less oppressive in the moonlight. Their purple leaves almost glowing. “Pretty neat, huh?”

“Yes, breathtakingly beautiful,” Hux says, but he hasn’t stopped looking at Poe.

“Yes, there. _There._ ”

They’re in Poe’s quarters, trying something new. It seems there are an endless number of things that Hux has never done before but that Poe is an expert on. He carefully moves his finger inside Poe, watching his reaction. Poe had told him he had done this before, both alone and with a partner. Hux knows Poe is indiscriminate when it comes to the designation of his bed partners, and he didn’t bother asking if he had done it with an Alpha.

Hux is kneeling between Poe’s legs and he’s painfully hard in his underwear, but he’s focusing solely on Poe. He’s determined to do a better job that whatever halfwit Poe did this with before. Sometimes he feels his sexual relationship with Poe is just an exercise in insufficiency.

He bites the inside of Poe’s thigh and adds a second finger. “Fuck,” Poe says, throwing his head back. Hux pushes in slowly, but Poe keeps thrusting his hips, trying to fuck himself on his fingers faster, harder. He lets Poe take over for a moment, set his own rhythm. He leans over Poe and kisses him, tangles his finger in his hair and pulls his head back so he can bite his neck, though he is careful not to leave any marks.

“Do you like that,” he says against Poe’s skin. Hux can see how hard he is so he’s not exactly looking for confirmation, but Poe likes to talk in bed and likes it when Hux does as well. He gets the expected response (yes, Hux, _fuck._ ) but then he says, “come on, fuck me harder,” which gives Hux a terrible idea.

“You want to fuck?” Hux says, speeding up his movements and crooking his fingers. “You wish you were doing this to me? Wish you were getting me ready to take your cock?”

“Fuck, fuck, _yes._ ”

“You want to finger me loose and open, easy for you to knot me?” he feels uneasy as he says the words, even though he knows Poe’s not going to take them as a declaration of intent.

“Fuck yes, I do,” he says, kissing him sloppily.

Hux slides down Poe’s body to avoid looking at him. Mouths his cock for a moment while he calms down. He steers clear of the knot, but sucks hard on the head, lets his head move in time with his fingers.

He pulls off to breathe and Poe lifts his hips, searching for friction, which means he ends up rubbing his hard dick all over Hux’s face, but Hux likes it.

He works another finger into Poe and watches as he stiffens and then forcibly relaxes. He thrusts harder with his fingers and says, a little desperately, “are you close? Tell me how to –”

He wants to come but not before making Poe come and he _really_ wants to fuck Poe but he’s not inclined to ask for something that he himself is unwilling to offer.

“Move. A little more –” Poe says, panting. “There. No, wait – back a little. _Yes_ , there. Touch me, talk to me.” He is arching his back and rocking his hips against Hux’s fingers now.

Poe has his head tossed back and is panting open-mouthed. His hair’s a mess, so Hux leans over him, tangles his fingers in it and _pulls_. He says against Poe’s mouth, “you drive me crazy. I think about touching you all the time. I want to mark you, to fuck you, to take your knot. You have no idea what you do to me.”

He’s thrusting his fingers hard and fast now and feels Poe’s body clench around them, before loudly saying _fuuuck_ and coming all over his stomach.

Hux takes his fingers out of Poe, desperate to get them around his cock. He straddles Poe and strokes once, twice, before coming all over Poe’s chest.

He grimaces a little at the mess, before sticking his fingers in it and putting them on Poe’s lips. Poe opens his mouth and sucks on them eagerly, moaning low, his eyes fluttering shut. Hux has definitely gone crazy. They kiss languidly and wetly for a long moment. Poe, half-laughing, says between their mouths, “fuck, man.”

Hux collapses next to Poe and doesn’t think about a word he said.

It’s not that he thinks there’s something immoral about it. It’s that he can’t escape the feeling that it’s dangerous. That anyone who finds out could use it against him. He’s not even certain of the specific ways they could achieve this, but he nevertheless feels like he’s opening himself up to having his weaknesses exploited. He’s talking about his attraction to Alphas in general and his attachment to Dameron in particular.

It’s not the sex that is the problem. It’s that each sexual encounter is more evidence of the problem.

He never had any control in who knew about his parentage or his childhood, but this is something where he can control who knows about it and it seems more than a little idiotic to let the answer be _everyone._

“Do you want to do what we were talking about the other night?” Hux asks, deliberately vague, not wanting to say the actual words.

“What’s that?” Poe says, but he’s not even looking at Hux, busy with something on his datapad. They’re in Poe’s room because they made plans to watch a holofilm but then got distracted.

“What I mentioned the other night.”

Poe turns to look at him, frowning. “About getting you a door for your workshop? I’ll talk to Melne about it.”

“No, not that, but thank you. I meant, what I said when we were in bed. About – you fucking me,” he says, forcing the words past his mouth.

“Oh, that,” Poe says, deliberately looking back at his datapad. “I thought that was an ‘in the heat of the moment’ kind of thing. Meaningless talk.”

“But do you want to do it?”

Poe sighs. “Do _you_ want to do it?”

“I asked first.”

“Hux, babe, can we not do this? I don’t wanna fight. Let’s watch the holofilm. I got that one you love, _Airtaxi Driver_ ,” Poe says, reaching for him.

“It’s a simple yes or no question.”

“Fine. If you wanted to do it, I would, but since you’re only using this to pick a fight, no.”

Hux is not shocked by the admission and he appreciates Poe didn’t lie to him, but a voice in the back of his head keeps whispering, _see? That’s how he sees you. He took one look at you and just assumed you’d spread your legs for him like an Omega in heat_. He clenches his fists and closes his eyes. When he opens them Poe’s staring at him, just patiently waiting for Hux to say something. Poe’s already had dozens of opportunities to humiliate him; it means something that he hasn’t taken them.

“Have you thought about it?” Hux asks.

“Yes, but I’ve also thought about you fucking me, so it’s not some degrading thing like you’re imagining.”

“Have you done it with an Alpha before?”

“No, I haven’t.” Poe hasn’t stopped looking intently at him, like he’s waiting for Hux to explode any second now.

“Why not?”

“Well, it requires supplies. You’re supposed to take your time or else it can hurt. Plus, it’s better if you do it with someone you know will pull out when you tell them to and won’t try to knot you. Not the kind of thing you do with a cantina hook up,” he says, lying back down on the bed, apparently deciding Hux is not going to lose it.

Hux is not sure he agrees with Poe, but he appreciates the vote of confidence and it almost makes him want to be who Poe believes him capable of being, so he changes the topic. “Where’s the holofilm?”

Poe spends the entirety of the film tracing incomprehensible patterns on his thigh, which effectively distracts him from watching it but also from thinking about what Poe said earlier.

At first he had been relieved that Poe was being thorough and taking his time, but by now it’s clear he’s just stalling. Poe has been fingerfucking him for what feels like hours now, but is probably no more than an hour. He’d tell him to get on with it, but he’s comfortable and mostly relaxed and doesn’t want that to change. He’s not exactly having second thoughts, but he’s confident this will end poorly. He was certain of this likely disastrous outcome even as he offered. He’s been hurt and humiliated before, the problem is that Dameron is going to be _nice_ about it.

He has already been ridiculously nice about this. Insisting that they could stop at any time, and that they didn’t have to do it ever again if Hux didn’t like it, and that they’d only do it if Hux was really sure about it.

Poe rocks his hips, rutting against the curve of his ass and Hux tries to push back against him but Dameron’s grip on his hips is tight, keeping him still. He just needs to wait him out. Poe has to be feeling as desperate and frustrated as Hux is.

“Hux, listen, we can stop whenever. If you hate it we can stop, okay? But you need to tell me.”

Hux has no intention of doing that, but he still feels reassured by Poe’s words, which in turn embarrasses him. He has the absurd thought that he doesn’t want Poe to think he’s not Alpha enough to take his knot. It is the kind of inverted thinking that he would send someone to reconditioning for, if he were still in the Order.

Poe slides in as slowly as possible, inch by inch, while Hux tries not to pull away from him. “Does it hurt?” Poe asks, rubbing his hips.

“Just keep going.”

Poe keeps starting and stopping, so it takes an eternity, but then _finally_ he’s all the way in. It’s not – terrible, but it’s weird enough to keep Hux on edge.

“Okay, okay,” Poe keeps panting behind him. He’s holding himself perfectly still, but Hux can feel his thighs trembling against him and his hands shake imperceptibly as he rubs them over Hux’s back. “You okay? Hux?”

He’s gotten his breathing under control, though he’s not hard anymore. “I’m okay, come on.”

“I want – I want – Hux.” Poe sounds wrecked. Hux is certain no one he’s ever had sex with before had sounded like that.

“It’s okay. I want it too.”

Poe withdraws almost entirely before drawing himself back in, keeping his movements slow and deep. He touches his cock, concentrating on Poe’s sounds, his proximity. It’s neither a disastrous nor a mind-blowing experience.

Poe stops, says, “does it feel good? Tell me what you need.”

It frustrates Hux, because he’s not sure what he needs. “Fuck me senseless. That’s what I want.”

“Hey, I can do that. C’mere. Move a little–”

He gets Hux to spread his legs wider and plant his hands against the wall. “Tell me when it feels good,” he says.

He starts moving in short, hard thrusts and then suddenly Hux can’t breathe. He moans louder than intended and says, “there. Don’t stop. _Don’t stop._ ”

He feels desperate, like he’s feeling his body for the first time. Poe starts rocking his hips faster and harder, each thrust making his hands slide against the wall. He strokes Hux’s cock in time with his thrusts and Hux is torn between pushing back into his cock or forward into his hand. He squeezes Hux’s knot and says, “next time, I want you to get this inside me.”

Hux gasps and loses his balance, ends up resting his forehead against the wall as he comes. He feels his whole body go tense and then relax. He has never before felt so present, so good inside his own body. He can vaguely hear Poe say something from behind him, but he’s too focused on the way the cold wall cools his overheated skin.

Poe runs his fingers through his hair and uses his grip to pull his head back. “Hey, you okay?”

“Yes, _fuck._ ”

“Okay,” Poe says, laughing a little. “Do you still want me to– do you still wanna take my knot?”

“Yes yes, come on.”

“You sure?”

“Fuck your knot into me already, Dameron,” he says impatiently, feeling like there’s only so much handholding he can tolerate. When he feels the knot start to expand inside of him, his whole body tenses and he instinctively tries to get away, though. Poe grabs his hips and pulls him back onto his dick.

“Hey hey, careful. Relax, relax. You need to let it happen,” he says soothingly.

Hux can’t breathe, can’t move. It’s too much. “How does it feel?” he says, knowing Poe likes to talk.

“It feels so good. You feel so fucking good,” he says, kissing Hux’s spine. “I love this. I love – this. You? Does it hurt?”

Now that the initial panic has subsided, Hux can tell that no, it doesn’t hurt. “No, it feels different, though not bad,” he says, reaching back to touch where they are joined. Poe moans and shifts his fingers on Hux’s hips. He tenses his muscles and squeezes down on Poe’s cock.

“Fuck, babe, you’re so–”

“Can we lie down?” he says, unsure he wants to hear how Poe was going to finish that sentence.

They spoon out of necessity for twenty blessedly silent minutes and Hux is absurdly grateful that Poe doesn’t try to start a conversation when Hux can’t escape it.

Poe goes to pick him up for “an early lunch.” It’s a common enough occurrence that Hux’s boss, who hates him, remarked on it.

“Stop using the fact that your boyfriend is the boss to get out of doing work,” she told him.

This enrages Hux for several reasons. Mainly because it is patently false, but also because he doesn’t want people referring to Poe as his _boyfriend_. If he were still General Hux of the First Order, she wouldn’t have dared to talk to him like that. He could have had her demoted or transferred or even executed, but as it is he can only fume. He could tell Poe to do something about it, but it would undercut the point he’s trying to make and worse, Poe wouldn’t go for it.

“I’m not hungry,” he tells Poe, who of course doesn’t take the hint.

“You have to eat sometime.”

“I don’t want to.” He hates how petulant he sounds to own ears, but he decides to double down out of sheer stubbornness. “Wouldn’t it be a good idea for you to have lunch with your friends sometimes? We don’t have to spend all our time together, like clingy Omegas.”

Poe sighs and rubs his temples. “Why don’t you let _me_ worry about my friends? What’s this really about?”

“Nothing. I have work to do,” he says, pointedly. Poe just stands there, waiting him out. Hux wants him gone, but he knows how stubborn Dameron can be. “I don’t want people to see us together–” and here Poe’s eyes go hard, “– and think that we have–”

“A relationship,” Poe says flatly.

“–sex. This isn’t a relationship.” Hux can immediately tell that it’s the wrong thing to say but it’s the truth. _It is_. At least Dameron will definitely leave now.

“I have some bad news for you. People have already seen us together and who knows what ideas they could’ve gotten from that,” he says coldly. “It’s too bad you can’t pull a Kylo Ren and fuck with people’s memories instead of dealing with your own fucking issues.”

“Get out.”

“Gladly.”

Hux flinches when the door slides shut.

Poe makes no attempt to contact him. He knows Poe’s not away in one of the Resistance’s “rebuilding missions,” as they call them, because he actually bothered to ask around. Doing so was embarrassing and fed his anger for a while longer.

He finds Poe working on his X-Wing with his droid. All his friends are around. He hopes Poe can appreciate that he’s willing to humiliate himself in front of them just to talk to him.

Poe’s astromech makes an increasingly loud series of noises as Hux approaches. Poe pokes his head out, but goes back to work, saying, “yeah, I know, buddy.”

“Dameron,” he calls out, but only gets a tense _yeah?_ from inside the cockpit. “Can you come out here to talk? Please?”

Poe sighs loudly but does. When he’s close enough that no one else can hear them, he says, “are you sure you’re okay with this? Aren’t you worried people will see us standing in front of each other and assume I’m bending you over and doing you during your lunch breaks?”

The combination of Poe’s intensity and his actual words make Hux’s dick twitch in his pants. He never had this problem before Poe.

Poe sighs. “I didn’t mean to say that. I mean, I did, but I feel like there should be a limit to how much of an asshole I can be to you, considering how much I like you.” Hux can relate. “Let’s go somewhere more private.” He puts his hand on the small of Hux’s back before quickly dropping it.

“Some of the things I said– there was probably a better way of saying them. But I’m not interested in being treated like someone dirty, little secret, Hux.”

Hux thinks, _if it were a secret then all these people wouldn’t know about it_ , but doesn’t say it, realizing it would not go over well. Instead he says, “I obviously don’t mind being seen with you,” pointing to the open, very public space they are currently in.

“Oh, you don’t mind? Hux, this is exactly the problem. Look, we had some fun–”

“We could have some more fun,” he tries to say seductively, though he suspects it comes across as annoyed.

“Are you– are you sex-bribing me?” he asks incredulously.

“We can do– I don’t know, whatever you want,” Hux says, one hundred percent meaning it.

“What I want is for you not to act like you’re making a huge sacrifice by being with me. Like I’m asking you to sacrifice your values and your integrity and your beliefs–”

“I’m used to sacrificing my beliefs,” Hux says rationally, but of course Dameron takes it the wrong way.

“That comparison makes me feel great about us,” he says, pushing his hair away from his face. “I know you’ve been going through a lot and I want to be there for you, regardless of what happens between us.”

It sounds so final when he puts it that way. Hux crosses his arms to keep himself from fidgeting and says, “you’re not wrong.”

“Wait, can you say that again?”

“Don’t be insolent. I– I kept telling myself I was being forced to do these – things, just to be with you and I kept going along with them because I liked you. But it was just easier than admitting I wanted them too.” He pauses, but he figures he has come this far, so he continues, “I was trying to save myself the embarrassment of people knowing we were together – no, listen to me – knowing we had been together but couldn’t make it work and that I was still embarrassingly, pathetically – in love with you.”

“Hux, I– you have to know I love you too.”

Hux shields his eyes against the sun, annoyed to be outside instead of in the comfort of his workshop. “That doesn’t make a difference.”

“Of course it makes a difference. If two people love other and can’t make it work, then what’s the point?”

“You’re a romantic,” Hux says, rolling his eyes.

“I’m not gonna take that as an insult.” When Hux doesn’t say anything, he adds, “talk to me. Tell me how you really feel, what you really want. Sometimes I feel like I don’t know you at all.”

Poe comes closer, then, lowers his voice and says, “I want us to be together and I want you to be happy. I would like it if one caused the other, but I’m not sure I can delude myself into believing that it can.”

“I am happiest when I’m with you. Nothing else compares.” Hux turns to look him in the eyes and says, “I want you. Your time and your touch and your company. I want it all the time and for as long as I can have it.” There, he can’t take it back.

Poe smiles brightly at him and Hux doesn’t care if this goes badly anymore, he wants to capture this moment, this feeling and live in it the rest of his life.

It’s a warm Zhellday when Hux gets his monitor removed and replaced with a microchip implant. While he is still being monitored by the New Republic, he can now leave the planet.

“You ready?” Poe calls from outside the ship. When he gets no answer he says, “you know, we can go somewhere else. We don’t have to do this today.”

“He’s going to hate me whether he meets me today or tomorrow, so it really makes no difference.”

“He’s not going to hate you. How could he possibly hate you? I love you.”

Hux tries to suppress his smile and says, “I want to do this. Let’s go.”

As they’re leaving the planet, he leans towards the viewport and looks down at the purple trees and mountains that make up the place where he has spent the past two years living in. It’s often too hot, too weird and too uncomfortable, but Hux is not dreading coming back.


End file.
